The Ugly Eyebrows of John Wall's Jump Shot

When I was a kid, from the time I was about 7 until I was maybe 12, like a lot of us, I played in a Saturday morning municipal basketball league. The teams were terrible and I loved it. We played two 12 minute halves and the final score would usually be something like 19-17.

The defining characteristic of those games were these long, breathless stretches of frenetic activity: Kids running faster than they could dribble, ripping passes towards no one in particular, a clusterfuck of turnovers without either team breaking the threshold of penetrating the 3-point line. It was awful, wonderful mayhem.

In NBA terms, that’s roughly how I imagine last night’s Wizards-Nuggets looked.

The Wizards, a pretty wretched 8-29 squad, beat a good Nuggets team (which has been a murderous 15-2 at home entering last night) in Denver. Here’s how it seems it happened.

·         John Wall posted a crooked stat line. John Wall crushed the Nuggets last night. Coming off the bench in his second game of the season, the dude logged a +15 for the Wiz in 26 minutes. No surprise, given that he scored 14 points on 9 shots, dropped 12 dimes, and did funky little things like register two blocks and make all six of his free throws.

John Wall is the biggest “but her face” player in the NBA. Looking at John Wall’s jump shot is like seeing a Victoria’s Secret model with Eugene Levy’s eyebrows: you just can’t get past his one flaw. Because, it’s soooo nasty. As John Hollinger describes: “There are bad jump-shooters, and then there is John Wall. Last season he shot 3-for-42 on 3-pointers. That is not a typo. He also shot 29.7 percent on 2-pointers beyond 10 feet, which might not have been so bad if he hadn't taken three hundred and seventy of them in an abbreviated season.”

A week ago, without John Wall, there is NO CHANCE the Wizards win in Denver. He totally changes the complexion of any game he plays in. But until he gets those eyebrows under control, too many nights will still be ugly.

·         Bradley Beal. In January, he’s made 26 out of 43 threes. He’s going for 19 a night over his last ten games, and chipping in 4 boards from the 2 guard spot. Now he’s got the freak phenomenon known as “John Wall pushing the ball upcourt” creating crazy amount of transition looks for him. Last night, he scored 23 on 8 of 13 from the floor and 4 of 7 from 3.

·         Nobody on the Nuggets logged 8 rebounds. That’s not good. That’s how you lose at home to a 7-29 team.